There is something ancient, brutal and… beautiful in each of us.
An unspoken urge. A compulsion to the chase. The desire to be tested.
After what seemed like an eternity of climbing, waiting for the wind to shift, and struggling to stay still, I saw my quarry, the majestic bull elk I had been stalking relentlessly.
Sipping at a stream in a small clearing, seemingly at peace, he did not notice me. It was September and a breeze gently caressed the leaves behind him.
Quivering, unsure of what I was about to do, or what would happen next, I raised my bow and notched an arrow.
With some small trepidation, I pulled the bowstring taut, steadied myself and aimed for the heart.
I fired… and missed.
The arrow overshot and went wide, lodging in the soft wood of a young tree behind him. He raised his head, but strangely did not immediately flee. I had time for what so many wish for, a second shot, but rattled and unsure of myself, did not take it. I was too absorbed in the moment.
Seconds, seemingly millennia, of observation ensued but eventually he felt cause for caution and dashed away.
Without thinking, I bounded to where he had been, hopped the stream, instinctively retrieved my errant arrow and could not help but stop and marvel at my surroundings.
With some of the most genuine and heartfelt sentiment I have ever summoned, I exclaimed, inadvertently and out-loud: “Isn’t nature beautiful?”
Suddenly, clarity! A slap in the face ensued and took a second to fully process why. It was September, the weather was stunning and I was playing Skyrim, a game.
An autumn wind swirled through the room, it was a Saturday, and I here I was again.. in front of a screen. Learning no new skills, earning no new memories, and overcoming no real ordeals.
We like to, at times, think of ourselves as fierce and glorious; able to fit in with and through sheer will shape the natural world around us, but until one has been outwitted by an animal or known the relentless pursuit of a goal or worthy quarry we are but dull vestiges of the lions we admire.
It is easy to play a passive role in the world, to let food come to us on sterile foam trays. To abdicate responsibility and immerse ourselves in fantasy worlds, where we can still be heroes, where food is abundant and without cost, is easy but it errodes.
In days long since passed, my opinion of hunters was shall we say uninformed and at times I imagine… antagonistic. I delighted in debates, confused my love of wildlife with sound conservation principles, and allowed differences of class or taste to cloud more noble and commonly held causes, but here I was ten years later.. playing the hypocrite and succumbing to into a simulated challenge, a digital chase.
Since then I’ve learned to track and pursue more meaningful quarry, to understand and more honestly interact with the natural world, and live in less passive ways. There are lessons yet to be earned and shared, ones that kept our species alive and our claws sharp for many years.